Alone
by littlemissbig
Summary: Something happens that splits up the team and lands Rodney alone without anyway to get back. RMJS slash.
1. Chapter 1

Notes from author: This'll eventually be a romance fic between Rodney Mckay and John Sheppard. I rated it high because later on it'll get higher and more explicit. I'll update as soon as I can but until then enjoy this. And review!

Summary: Something happens that splits up the team and lands Rodney alone without anyway to get back.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or the characters or anything to do with it. So there…

Chapter One

It hurt to think, it hurt to move…it even hurt to breathe. He couldn't seem to remember…anything really. The floor was cold beneath his back and the oddly shaped bricks pressed awkwardly into his already bruised back. He tried to open his eyes, but even the smallest hint of light threatened to burn his eyes away.

_How long have I been here? _

He was unsure of…everything. He didn't know where he was, why he was in this condition or even who he was. The only things that were coming through to him was the pain of what seemed like every one of his muscles contracting and the slow, steady sound of water dripping.

Slowly he started to think rationally through the pain. List of things he knew:

he was injured

he couldn't remember anything

he was alone

he was….scared

This was hardly an adequate start to trying to deal with his problems. He could come up with a list longer than his arm about what he didn't know and this hardly helped him with anything except scaring him further.

Eventually he managed to raise his arm enough to swipe at his eyes. The added protection that gave from the insistent light eased him enough to gradually open his eyes without flinching too much. Looking around he saw that the room was small, a rotten wooden door seemed to be clinging to the wall on its last breath and the walls themselves were dripping with dirty water that puddled at the edges.

He wasn't sure why he was here, certainly he wouldn't live in a place like _this. _It seemed to be an overwhelming belief that he shouldn't be here, that he didn't belong. It gave him a sort of hope that he had somewhere better to go. Though the hope dimmed the longer he was alone and suffering in pain.

However, the door eventually slammed open and a severe looking woman came bundling in. She took one look at the slumped heap in the centre of the room, shook her head and tutted in annoyance.

"He's on your property they say, means you have to deal with him they say. Stupid lazy idiots! Can't do a thing right…."

Her tirade was cut short when she saw the bleary eyes looking up at her. She seemed to melt then, loosing the stern spinster aunt look, and turning into a clucking mother hen.

"You poor dear. You'll be okay, just need some mending."

She took his head in her arms and started to dab at an unknown cut. He had to wince in pain as it met exposed flesh. It obviously wasn't designed to be patient friendly, so the sting overwhelmed him for a second. It was all he could do to blink up in confusion at the lady while she tended to his wounds. She seemed to care and took extreme caution to make sure all his open wounds were soothed.

"Sorry bout the room. They just dumped you here without a say from me. Not that they'd listen mind you, all they think about is how to get through everything easily. We'll get you into a warm bed soon. I bet you're hungry. Are you hungry?"

She seemed to just prattle on without considering that there was no reply from her patient. After finishing with her face she sat back and just looked at him.

"I'll go get me lads, they'll move you."

With one last pat on the head she left the room, leaving him to slowly fall back unconscious. He didn't even notice as she came back with her 'lads' and carefully helped him out of the dank room into a friendlier one. He also missed her finishing looking over him for visible wounds and slept through her giving him a thorough cleaning. He wouldn't have noticed if the roof had collapsed on him and stayed like this for a couple of days until he awoke again.

He eventually awoke to the clean smell of fresh cooking and the refreshing feeling of warm sheets on his back. Opening his eyes he saw that he was in a hut of some sort, the wooden walls held herbs and blankets, obviously placed to keep the heat in.

Movement was a bad idea as the unused muscles protested at any kind of stretch. However his groan seemed to alert someone who'd been watching, as a scratching noise accompanied by a little face peering up at him appeared from the foot of the bed. The little girl seemed to content to just stare at him, her wide, little eyes never left his as she decided what she thought of him.

With a giggle and a flick of her hair she shot out of the room at top speed and disappeared from his sight.

He was still confused. He had no memory or any idea where he was but at least he felt much better, his muscles ached but his head was pain free. He lifted himself up to a sitting position and prepared himself for a wait. He knew that if he tried to walk he'd fall down. In this instance he didn't have to wait long as the door soon opened and the woman who'd helped him before came through. On seeing him awake and responsive she smiled and sat down next to him.

"You're awake." It wasn't really a question, more a statement of fact. She reached behind her and grabbed a pitcher of water. Pouring it into a smaller cup she offered it to him. "You've been asleep for a while, we were worried for a while but you'll do."

He took the water gratefully, his parched lips were finally able to get sound through them, and he had a lot of questions that needed answers too,

"Where am I?" Surprisingly this was the first question he asked. He would've preferred to ask the 'who am I?' question but something was holding him back.

"You're on Slofara. Great world as it's mainly forest. Hard to the wraith to come get us."

Now he was extremely confused. Different world? Wraith? They pressed into his sore mind and made him wince.

"You mean I'm on a different world? What happened to earth? How did I get here?"

His battered mind couldn't seem to comprehend new information. He didn't know of the Stargate or the fact that he was in a different galaxy. He was starting to get hyped up and was only stopped as the lady placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down onto the bed.

"Calm down. Yeah you're on a different world. I'm confused though how you don't know why. I have no idea what happened to earth and you were found next to the Stargate in a heap. Those louts that live near there carted you off to the old ruins and then told me to deal with you. Why don't know?"

"No." He had to tell her something, there was too much of a gap about what he didn't know and he doubted he could hide it for long.

"Oh, what's your name?"

"I don't know."

"What! How you not knowing your name?"

"I don't know! All I remember is…nothing." He raised his hand up to his head and rubbed his brow gently.

"Well… you'll be fine. We need to be giving you a name. You can be…Kalen. That'll be okay. I'm Tamar by the way and the little child that ran out is Raley. You'll meet the others later, but I see you're tired. Get some rest and you'll be out and around soon."

She shuffled out of the room quicker than he could blink. _Well that answered no questions._ Kalen was now slightly mad about the fact that he was lacking information. But his little talk with Tamar had drained him and he easily fell back asleep again.

He found over the next few days that he generally got his strength back. He still had many bruises and bumps, not to mention a few open wounds that were started to heal over into impressive scars. He met the others that lived in Tamar's small settlement and learned that they were survivors left over from battle involving an enemy called the wraith. The other had thought about it and decided that it was probably the same case for him. It all fitted in with the injuries and the fact that he was alone. What other explanation made sense?

He learned to fit into the group and joined in with the day to day life. Kalen was initially reluctant to delve into the heavier aspects of manual labour. Anyone looking at him could tell he wasn't the most manly man who would fell a tree with ease, but he had no option in his present climate so pushed himself to repay the kindness of Tamar and her 'family'. He actually found himself enjoying the work. The pattern that followed gave him a sense of stability, something that was in contrast to his ever-chaotic mind.

Looking around he smiled as he finished that days work. For some reason he hadn't pushed into the whole Stargate possibility in explaining who he was. Kalen just settled down into this new life with no fuss and was excepted by all.

However not everyone was so keen to forget about the forgetful man. His real family had lost him and was extremely worried about the whereabouts of one Dr Rodney McKay.

Flashback 

"_Get back to the Gate." Colonel Sheppard shouted through his radio as the wraith dart flew over their heads._

"_Colonel they are closing in on our position." Teyla Emmagan warned her team-mates as she managed to dial through to Atlantis and key in the vital code. "Atlantis we are under attack by the wraith – please stand by."_

_Ronan Dex stood next to the gate shooting at the darts as they attempted to scoop up the team. He was in position to go through the gate but was waiting for Sheppard and McKay to get closer. They had been scouting the ruins on this world when they had accidentally triggered a wraith beacon, and in a matter of hours they had appeared and descended on the unknowing team._

_Sheppard and McKay appeared from the rise and made towards the gate._

"_GO!" Ronan moved backward still shooting at this command and retreated after Teyla into the horizon. Both men arrived at the gate and dived towards it. Sheppard being faster entered first followed moments later by McKay. However the moment that McKay entered the wormhole the wraith dart had shot at the gate._

_In the Atlantis Gateroom many stood waiting for the last members of the team to come through. The colonel came flying through the gate landing heavily on the floor, he turned to watch for McKay to come through and was incredibly surprised when the wormhole just disengaged with a pop. The whole room looked on in horror as no snarky scientist appeared raving about the wraith and having to run away from them again. _

_Sheppard looked toward the control room and sprang into action. "Redial NOW."_

_Weir looked on shocked as she came to terms with what was going on. "Colonel we can't just open a wormhole, there are wraith there."_

"_We have to go back and get McKay – he was just behind me."_

"_Colonel…" she began._

"_No, we go get him now." Weir couldn't help but let the control operator dial back to the planet. Immediately Sheppard's team and some of the officers working in command went through again._

_But there was no sign of Dr McKay or the wraith, they had both disappeared, leaving behind no hope that they would ever see their friend alive again._

_End Flashback_

Of course initially they hadn't believed that Rodney had truly been taken. They launched a puddle jumper, sent out the Deadalus. But none had come up with anything. The wraith had disappeared as soon as they had come leaving no trace. The wraith weren't the most patient people and with a dwindling food supply there was no doubt that Rodney had been…been…eaten by now. There was no hope.

Especially his team who blamed themselves for Rodney's death felt this lack of hope. Sheppard had been certain that Rodney was right behind him, he described it as him being a hair breath behind him. But believing this fed a whole lot more guilt into himself. _Why hadn't he waited a moment more? _Sheppard felt like he would live with the death of Rodney forever, he had lost his best friend and for some reason this was leaving a gaping hole inside him.

A kind of vacuum was felt throughout Atlantis. Those who were closest to him as well as those who worked with him were unsure of how they were going to operate the city without McKay's expertise. Although many were 'brilliant scientists' no one knew more about the city than Rodney and those left behind after him were slightly lost without his wicked tongue spurring them on.

_ Six Months Later _

They say that life has to go on and it did. Kalen learned that he had a knack dealing with the trickier parts of the basic engineering systems that were set up on Slofara. He managed to help their harvesting efforts, which were hard anyway as the planet was covered in forest. Also he had been exploring through the ancient ruins and found some interesting things using the technology that they had found with him. He didn't totally understand it but he found that the device gave off energy.

It was day when he was working that Raley came running to find him as he was working. Her breath came in short pants as she grabbed onto his shirt.

"Wraith…"

Kalen didn't need to be told twice, he grabbed Raley around the waist and slung her over his shoulder. As he got closer to their compound he could hear the shrill sounds of darts flying overhead. He diverted his path by ducking back under the trees and going towards the underground caves that would shield them from the wraith beams.

Arriving he deposited Raley in a safe corner before shouting out for Tamar. He saw others from the area already in residence, their frightened faces showing the pure horror of the situation that many had seen before all to often. Kalen dodged some of the others before going back into the forest all the while shouting for Tamar. He wouldn't admit it but his was frightened. It was the first time in his memory that a culling had occurred and the sense of helplessness was overwhelming. However his concern for his mentor was stronger than his fear and he braved the storm to find her.

Gaining on their buildings he heard a sound that was foreign to the whirring of the darts. To his ears it sounded like controlled bursts, but he didn't have time to think about this new aspect, he needed to find Tamar so carried on running. Entering Tamar's cabin he found her sprawled on the floor unconscious – a blast from one of the wraith weapons had blown apart part of her home – knocking her over. Kalen dropped to his knees and gently lifted her up, wincing at the knot that was forming on her forehead.

He was about to get through the door when it opened before him and another person came through. The stranger was dressed in a dark navy blue and pointed some sort of weapon at him. At seeing him, the man seemed to blanch. They just stood there in a sort of silent tableau until another scream of a dart invaded the vacuum that they had created.

The man whispered almost in disbelief into the silence…

"_McKay…"_

It knocked Kalen into action and he hastily turned round and jumped through the hole that the wraith had caused. It was too much on his already fragile mind and it was easier to run. He didn't look back to check that he wasn't being followed he just wanted to get to the safety of the caves, he could deal with the rest later – when there was a later.

He made it to the caves and carefully placed Tamar on one of the makeshift beds. He turned and narrowed his eyes as the man came through after him and was followed by a couple of others, all dressed in the same sort of uniform. Kalen narrowed his eyes in confusion, as they couldn't seem to stop looking at him.

"_McKay…"_

It was rather awkward as they just stood there with their mouths' open. Kalen just looked at them blankly before stooping down to tend to Tamar, a thin trail of blood was inching down her face and he was afraid that she really was hurt. However, the strangers weren't content for this man to ignore them.

"McKay." What seemed to be the leader of the group said to Kalen. "What the hell are you doing here? We thought you were dead."

Kalen just stared at them blankly, the whole room had frozen at the arrival of these strangers and was watching them with interest.

"What are you talking about? Who are you?" Kalen backed up slightly looking at the men like they were crazy.

The strangers shared a look that seemed to answer all questions for them. After the look between them they looked back at Kalen.

"You don't…know?"

Kalen shook his head and glared at them like the answer was obvious. "You are?"

"I'm Major Lorne and you…you…"

"They named me Kalen. How do you know me?"

"You're one of us. You work in our city and your name is Rodney McKay."

Kalen blinked and stared at the major, at the moment he wasn't in a position to believe anything. Reinforcing this was the sound of another explosion overhead and the whimpers of the people hiding in response to it. Kalen ducked in an automatic response, shielding Tamar from falling dirt from the ceiling.

"Did you bring the wraith down on this planet?" To Kalen there would be no other reason. The planet had never been raided by the wraith before and with 'his' people arriving, they came.

"No. The wraith go where they want."

Kalen ducked again as another blast hit the ground above them. Calling over to the others he left them to tend to Tamar while he figured out who these people were.

"Why am I here then and why are you here now?" Kalen searched for answers to questions that had bothered him throughout his time on this planet. _If he was wanted why was he left here? Did he really belong somewhere else? _

"We thought you were dead. Six months ago it seemed that you were taken by the wraith, no trace of you was found."

Kalen paused and raised his eyebrows in disbelief. He didn't know whether to be happy about that fact or whether not to believe it at all.

"We're here on a routine mission. Why are you here, I mean, how?"

Kalen was reluctant to talk about himself as he didn't really trust these people, however the choice was taken out of his hands when Tamar sat up and decided to join in with their conversation.

"He was found next to the ring." She paused as if trying to remember. "He seemed to have come through at a speed that caused him immense injuries."

"Really?" Lorne seemed to be weighing up something in his head at this comment.

"Are you from the same world as Kalen?"

"Yes, his name is Rodney McKay."

"That does not suit him, Kalen is a much better name." One of the other men from Lorne's team snorted at this comment and gained a glare from Tamar. "You are all from this Earth place then. Will you be taking him back there?"

Lorne's team looked at each other in a sort of panic. They didn't know what sort of information an unknowing McKay had leaked.

"Earth?" Lorne tried to as nonchalant as he put forward this question, well, as nonchalant as Lorne can be.

"When Kalen arrived he initially couldn't comprehend that he was on another world. He was seriously injured and we tended to him and now he is part of our family."

Lorne looked up in disbelief as he never thought McKay got along with anyone and the fact that they were calling him family was nothing short of a miracle on this planet. He was surprised, however that McKay had not stepped in and given his vocal opinion on what was going on. He had a mouth like a steam train and this quieter side of McKay was shocking at best.

Things quieted down, as the people in the caves seemed to lose the motivation to speak. The only sounds were the bangs from explosions above, the wraith seemed to be in a vengeful mood as even to Lorne's ears it sounded destructive. After the damage had stopped and it was clear that the wraith had left a blanket of tension invaded the cave. It was obvious that no one knew what was going to happen next, they were afraid to go out side in case they saw the true destruction of their homes. Kalen could only think inside his own head, he didn't know these people and yet they knew him. It would be more than likely that they would try and get him to go with them, did he really want to?

After a hesitation he got back what was left of his confidence. Standing up he turned to Tamar.

"I'm going to check the damage and see if the area is safe. Wait here." He briefly looked at the team before heading out to the mouth of the caves. Hearing a rustling he was surprised to see Lorne and his men following him. "What are you doing?"

Lorne winced slightly. "You don't think that we're letting you go out there alone, do you?"

Kalen didn't listen to him and just kept on walking. He winced slightly as the light hit his eyes, the trees gave some cover but the brightness still stung slightly. Moving over the rough ground easily he came towards where he lived. The wood structures were nothing but charred remains, some of it still burning. There was nothing he could do now except tell the others. Turning back he was stunned to be blocked by the others.

"What!" He shot out, he was not in the mood to deal with this sort of situation, his home had been destroyed and he was being plagued with issues that he couldn't cope with.

"There is nothing left here. You should come back with us." Lorne was wishing that he had McKay's team with him at the moment. He knew that it was more than likely that Ronan would just shoot him and drag him home, but he himself didn't have that option. "You belong back with us. The other people from this planet can come too, we can rehabilitate them, help them rebuild."

Kalen just looked at them like they were crazy. How dare they come and lay claim to him and take him away from his family. Shaking his head he walked past Lorne and followed the trail back to the cave. He knew he'd have to tell them that their homes had been destroyed, and it tore him up inside. He didn't want to hurt them, but he knew that it was inevitable.

As he entered they looked to him with eyes full of hope, but all he could do was shake his head slowly. A couple of the women started to cry and the children just looked on in confusion. He didn't know what to tell them, to build from scratch again was impossible. He looked behind him and saw Lorne, could he accept their offer? It sounded so weak, he didn't trust them at all, but what options did he have otherwise.

Sighing he turned back to his family. They would decide together. "They said we could go with them."

It was a statement of fact, clear and simple. He would wait for their reaction before he decided anything. Tamar, of course, had to the bravest and answer first.

"Why? We are strangers to you and it's awfully _kind _of you to offer such a thing. Maybe it is just that you want our friend Kalen back and we will become worthless to you after he has agreed."

Tamar was blunt to say the least. She went in headfirst and would not rest until she figured someone out and trusted them.

"With all respect ma'am, we've done this before with other planets regardless of who is involved." Lorne had never been a big one for words and his sense of humor was slightly twisted. Tamar could stare water from a stone and they were probably evenly matched in intimidation techniques.

Kalen just tuned out. His mind was busy formulating backup plans and other options that they could use, he didn't realize that the others were looking at him expectantly.

"Kalen!" He woke up as Tamar punched him on the arm. He looked around shocked at the action.

"What?"

"While you have been asleep we have decided."

"You have?" Kalen wondered how much he had missed.

"Yes. We are going with them."

"That was quick."

"You were off again, do not worry it will be okay. They seem to be alright." Kalen could only nod as she took over, ordering the others to gather up their meager belongings that were left. Some were still crying and there was exclamations at the destruction of their now former home. Kalen grabbed what was left of his stuff and helped Tamar sort out hers, she was still injured from the attack so he took directions from her and did her packing.

As they got closer to the gate he started to feel fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of who he would meet. He was not the man that Lorne had said he was and he wondered if they expected him to be that man.

One of Lorne's men activated the gate and Lorne spoke over his radio to his command center.

"Atlantis, this is Lorne. We have refugee's coming through."

An unfamiliar female voice replied. "Major, what happened?"

"We were attacked by the wraith, we found shelter and…something else." He glanced towards Kalen as he said this as if he was trying not to shout some big secret out loud. "We also have some wounded."

"Explain major." Another unfamiliar voice, this time male, came over the line.

"It'd be best if you opened the gate and you see for yourself." A second pause while those on the other side looked at each other in confusion.

"You're clear."

Lorne signaled to one of his men and Kalen's people were escorted through. Kalen hung back, unsure, he looked towards Tamar and was reassured by her dominant nod. He and Lorne were left lastly, Lorne seemed to be waiting, with a deep breath Kalen took the step forward into the event horizon of the gate.

He exhaled it to what seemed like the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. The room was simple in design, but the technology looked incredible and the people seemed confident, swarming around doing their jobs with a calm ease. However the room seemed to become silent as they saw who had followed the others through the gate. Some were openly gaping, while other looked at each other in shock. Kalen just wrinkled his nose in disgust of what he saw as a awkward situation.

Dr Elizabeth had been having a regular day. All had been running smoothly and Major Lorne's team was due in about an hour. So she had been surprised when halfway through the meeting with Colonel Sheppard's team the alarms had gone off signaling an incoming wormhole. As she got to the control room she looked towards the technician.

"We're getting Major Lorne's IDC ma'am."

"He's not due for another hour." This from Colonel Sheppard, who surprisingly knew the outbound schedule better than she did.

"We're getting a radio response." She nodded in confirmation.

"Atlantis, this is Lorne. We have refugee's coming through." She could only sigh, this had become all too common recently, with the added weight of the wraith pressing down on unknowing planets.

"Major, what happened?"

"We were attacked by the wraith, we found shelter and…something else." Now that was odd, he sounded reluctant but excited. "We also have some wounded."

Weir nodded to the technician he was immediately onto the infirmary calling them to the Gateroom. She looked at John, raising one elegant eyebrow.

"Explain major." John didn't like the sound of Lorne's voice, there was something there, something that seemed out of place.

"It'd be best if you opened the gate and you see for yourself." Both him and Weir looked at each other in confusion, he gestured to Ronan who nodded and went down the Gateroom stairs followed by Teyla. If anything was wrong with the team, they would provide a protection of sorts.

"You're clear."

The technician let the shield down and a marine followed by confused scared people came through. Immediately medical personal started to cluck around them, checking for the most innocent of injuries.

A pause seemed to come between the last group of refugee's and Lorne, like he was hanging back for something. At last a solitary figure stepped through. Sheppard had to look twice, it looked like…no it couldn't be…McKay.

Sheppard just stopped, the whole room stopped. The shock was evident. All that went through his mind was '_he's dead, he can't be here' _but was proven wrong as that person did this impression of a small kitten. A wrinkling of the nose that seemed so Mckayish that it could be no other person. The spell of floating wonderment ceased as Lorne followed through and the gate shut down. The medical people started moving again and the scientists in command went back to checking screens and wires (or whatever it is they do).

Looking at Weir they both moved at the same time towards the stairs. They almost ran down the stairs to the new arrival. Teyla and Ronan looked at them in confusion, they both wondered too how their dead friend was now standing in front of them.

"McKay."


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry about the shortness of this chapter, I am dead... well not actually dead, went through the first session of football training and can't move, or write. It will get faster in the next chapters I hope. Really sorry to the person who thought i put too many comma's in, it's just the way i write and i apologise if I do it too much. Hopefully in future i'll update once a week so enjoy this until then...

Disclaimer: it's not mine, i just borrowed the characters...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

They got no reply from the man who just continued to stare round the room with awe. He didn't even seem to comprehend that he had been addressed and that put John slightly on edge. He coughed lightly trying to get McKay's attention but the man continued to ignore them. Lorne seeing that there was a misunderstanding poked McKay with the end of his gun.

"What?" Kalen turned with a glare on his face to face the major. The major just rolled his eyes and gestured to the others who continued to stare at him like he was something wondrous.

"What?" He snapped again. He felt slightly uncomfortable with their stares and shifted towards the rest of his people.

"McKay… What..? How..? Why..?" John couldn't seem to get a concrete sentence out.

Kalen just continued to look confused and looked towards Lorne for some clarification. Yes Lorne had called him McKay but he couldn't see himself with that name and he couldn't see himself with these people.

They look so _clean._

"Um…."

Lorne shuffled in discomfort not wanting to be part of this conversation but knowing that he had to fill-in his commanding officer.

"We found him on M8G-475 sir. He appears to have no memory beyond six months ago."

At learning this John looked shattered, Elizabeth looked thoughtful and Teyla and Ronan looked confused. All the personal, though dying to know what was going on, were tending to their own duties away from the group standing in front of the Stargate.

"No memory?" John spoke into the silence in a disbelieving voice not taking his eyes of McKay.

"None sir, he just remembers landing on the planet in a heap."

"He is right here!" Kalen shot in not liking the conversation going on around him. "What the hell is going on?"

John seemed to get back a bit of his control after McKay's outburst. There was one man who could usually sort McKay out and he was currently on the mainland helping with an outbreak of the flu (or a Pegasus version of it anyway).

"We need to get Beckett back now."

Elizabeth nodded in agreement. She at least was taking this more calmly and wasn't acting like a child who had been told that Santa wasn't real. She smiled at McKay and stepped forward.

"I know this must be frightening for you but please realize that we are all in shock. How much has Major Lorne told you about us?"

Kalen sent a scared look towards the colonel before facing Elizabeth. She at least seemed more like someone with answer.

"Not much."

"That's okay, why don't we go down to our medical facility and get your injuries seen to."

Kalen nodded and after sending one last look of scared disbelief at the Colonel followed Elizabeth towards one of the exits, grabbing a couple of his injured people as he went.

------------------------------------------------------

John was stuck in a sort of limbo. He could only stare at the spot that McKay had just been in. He felt a hand on his arm and turned to see the worried face of Teyla. She looked at him with knowing eyes and steered him around so they were too heading towards the infirmary.

"I have instructed the control technician to call for Dr Beckett, and he has informed me that the Doctor is back on his way here."

John let go of his thoughts and pulled on the mask that he wore. His expressions were now neutral, in control, and above all military. He walked towards the exit with both Teyla and Ronan close behind him.

"You don't think he's damaged do you?" This insensitive comment came from Ronan and caused a little vein in John's head to twitch.

"He's fine."

"Didn't look fine. Seemed different. Maybe it isn't him."

"Ronan…" Teyla aware of the Colonel's mood warned the warrior.

"It's him."

"What…" Teyla hit Ronan on the arm to get him to shut up.

"We will wait until Doctor Beckett's return, he should be able to tell us more."

Ronan nodded in annoyance while John just kept on walking not talking very much in.

---------------------------------------------------------------

(Infirmary)

Kalen sat on one of the beds staring at the ceiling. It was night time (as near as he could tell) and the city seemed to have powered down for rest. The others of his people who were injured had settled in nicely and were being treated but he could not sleep. He was in turmoil, the woman who called herself Elizabeth and fussed around him like he was a child. The healers had tried not to look at him while the man, John, had looked at him too much. It was disturbing.

Sighing he slumped back down onto the bed and started to tap against the covers. His mind was wandering near to sleep when the doors to the room opened and a man came through. Immediately alert Kalen sat up and wearily stared at this new stranger. It seemed to be what the other man was doing as well. After a couple of minutes of this the man choked out in disbelief…

"Great Scott. I thought you were dead."

Then proceeded to try and choke all the air out of his chest. Kalen just sat there pliant while the man hugged him. He didn't see John at the door look at them and then silently turn and leave. He couldn't see much of anything except the stranger's hair. Eventually he let go and Kalen was able to breathe in a grateful breath.

"Rodney are you okay? They told me you were here and that you had no memory but it wasn't that clear. Do you know where you are? Rodney can you tell me the date?"

The man just continued to rattle off questions at a high speed, none of which he got a chance to answer. Finally the man decided to take a breath and stopped giving Kalen the opportunity to butt in.

"Stop."

The other man gave him a confused look and then looked embarrassed.

"Sorry, I got a little bit carried away." Instead of grabbing Rodney and checking out every inch of him he pulled up his chart and looked at it. Tutting at the lack of information it was giving him he turned to Rodney himself and proceeded to just stare into his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Authors note: sorry it took me so long to update but i hate essays, they are cruel and unjust punishments for being stupid enough to go into higher education... moo. The story is still at that boring bit with explanations on feelings and with no action (I hate these bits) still quiet a low rating but i am building up to a higher rating - good on you if you notice the hints and stuff on the romance front. My sister sadi she'd help me on those bits later cause i'm a really shy person and she's so brash - should be good.

Disclaimer - I don't own this or anything to do with it

This seemed to carry on for an eternity with Kalen not knowing what to say and Carson waiting for Rodney to say something to show that it was really him. Eventually Carson started to tire of this and decided to be blunt, taking a deep breath he once again launched into the conversation.

"What happened?"

It wasn't the most thought out question, but it wasn't often that you best friend returns from the dead.

Kalen could not answer, he of course didn't know this man and it was hard for him to think of anything to say. Instead he just started to scratch at his arm, it had been tingling since he'd come through the gate and it was starting to annoy him.

Carson finally noticed that the other man wasn't talking and took attention to what he was doing. Frowning he pulled at Rodney's arm and checked out the rash that was on the underside of his arm. Making a couple of humming sounds he poked at it and looked at it closely.

"You shouldn't itch that, I'll get you some cream."

Kalen stared at his own arm as the man disappeared behind the curtain. A red rash, starting at his wrist, continued up half way towards his elbow.

"Must be some sort of allergic reaction."

Carson came back and preceded to show Kalen how to properly apply the salve. Once this was done he again went quiet. He thought it strange not to hear Rodney complaining and mouthing off to the staff. The situation seemed unreal and it was hard for Carson to comprehend. Finally the other man decided to speak and it once again it scared Carson slightly.

"I said this a lot today I know, but who are who?"

"Carson Beckett. I'm a doctor and I was your friend."

Kalen nodded like he understood what was going on. But he couldn't really take it in. It was just another name that he didn't know and now needed to remember.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You know me but I don't know you. I look around and I recognize nothing. The others see me and expect me to be this Rodney McKay guy but I don't know how – all I know is that I am Kalen and my home was just destroyed by the wraith."

Carson looked at him in sympathy and in pity. While working in a hospital in Edinburgh he had come across cases of amnesia but he didn't know the effects on someone who hadn't been on earth at the time and wouldn't even be able to recollect what planet he was on. The psychological impact of something like this must be hard. Carson made a mental note to get Kate up here in the morning, she would be better equipped to deal with a situation like this.

"It'll be okay. There's a good chance your memory will come back, we just need to let it unfold by itself."

Kalen nodded. He wasn't sure of this alien medicine, he had already been fed these small white chalk things that they said would ease his headache. They had worked but it hadn't stopped him from being slightly suspicious of them.

"Umm… it's late. You should get some rest."

Carson stood back from the bed, making it clear that he was going to be listened to. Kalen just lay back and closed his eyes, trying to get the images of the city to stop dancing through his mind.

The next day a buzz had started to go through Atlantis. Rumours had started floating around about the return of Rodney McKay. Those who had previously been on his science team were bombarding Elizabeth for information, information that she wasn't going to give up until she knew all the facts herself.

Walking down to the infirmary she met up with the Colonel and they continued walking in silence. She had been aware that there was something amiss with John since Rodney had returned. She couldn't explain what it was, he seemed to want to do something but couldn't seem to get anything out.

Coming to the doors to the infirmary she gave John a warning glare in case he decided to do something. He seemed to realise this and nodded before brushing his hand over the control panel. Walking in they both looked around for Carson before going over to his office to find him. They found him with his head in his laptop and muttering to himself.

"Carson?"

"Mmmm."

"Are you busy?"

"W-what? Sorry. How can I help you?"

"How is Rodney this morning?"

"He's doing fine." Carson said reluctantly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well the fact that he doesn't remember anything is worrying me slightly. We did a CT scan and it came up with an area that gives us some concern."

"What is it?"

"Could be anything. But according to Rodney he landed on that planet at a high velocity and hit his head pretty hard. This may have caused some damage, we're going to keep an eye on it incase it changed but right now it poses no danger to him."

"That's good...isn't it?"

"Kate's with him now. Hopefully she'll see if any of this has caused any damage to his state of mind."

Elizabeth was worried. It would be a great hurt if they found their friend only to have him permently lost to them.

"Well we can only hope he'll get better. Can we see him now?"


	4. Chapter 4

authors note: wow i am doing this quick - probably cause i'm avoiding doing a certain assignment - ah who cares, enjoy... (i'm sorry it's still a bit slow but i wanted to get through the boring stuff before that)

Disclaimer: I do not own it or anything to do with it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kalen had sat listening to this blond woman for half an hour before she realized that he wasn't listening. He had zoned out after she started talking about amnesia and the effects it had on one's brain. Just waiting for something to happen that would distract her he was glad when the people for the day before came into view.

"Rodney, how are you feeling today?"

"Great." He said this in a tone that gave everyone the impression that he would rather be stuck on a wraith hive ship rather than be there.

"I think Dr McKay understands what I've told him." Rodney just raised his eyebrow and gave her a look that said 'yeah right.' But of course Elizabeth decided that maybe the conversation should go another way:

"So what happens now."

"Well Dr McKay doesn't recall the basic things about his life on Atlantis so I would advise that he not go back to work in the lab yet."

"Work? What work?"

"Rodney you were chief scientist before you…went missing."

"Yeah so who said I'd go back to doing that. What about the rest of my people?"

Elizabeth and John shared a look that spoke volumes to Kalen.

"Wait, you don't care about that do you. You think I belong to you and you're going to make sure I regain my memory like a good little boy and everything will be the same again. Well, aren't I right?"

The others were silent showing Kalen that his hypothesis was correct. This made him mad, he had chosen to come here and now it was likely that he was going to be some kind of prisoner until he was 'back to normal'.

"Well I'm sorry but that's not going to happen."

Kalen tried to get out of the bed and started pulling at the blankets.

"Rodney…Stop." But he wasn't listening and continued his public breakout. "Rodney."

Carson touched his shoulder and Rodney looked scared at the action. Carson could see why the man didn't want to have his actions and life dictated by these strangers but he was one of the one's dictating so he couldn't really help him.

"No one is going keep you here against your will."

"Well then, goodbye." He started to get up again.

John was getting fed up with the way that things were going and clamped down on Rodney's other shoulder.

"You are going to stay there until the doctor says you can move."

The tone and look on the colonel's face made it clear that he was to be obeyed. Kalen swallowed and nervously nodded his head. He obviously didn't want to go up against this new threat.

"John…." Elizabeth butted in.

"Elizabeth."

It was slightly uncomfortable for the others in the room to witness this staring match. Especially since the colonel still had a strong grip on Rodney's shoulder and slowly tightened it as the seconds past. Finally Elizabeth backed down and looked towards Carson for some support. Carson coughed lightly and murmured to himself before deciding on a plan that would probably be best for everyone involved.

"I know that since Rodney went…missing," (Still hard to say died!) "that his room has been untouched. I have no reason to keep him here and think it might be beneficial for him to recuperate there."

John seemed to be thinking this plan over while Elizabeth tried to find any flaws behind it. Rodney looked like he was finally getting freedom and Carson looked relieved that they weren't bombarding him with more questions.

"That seems….like a good idea."

"Hey, what about….?" Kalen didn't want to be parted from his people but it didn't look like these people were going to listen.

"You've been told what's going to happen, so accept it." John didn't know why he was being so harsh but he did let go of the death grip on the other man's shoulders.

"Fine." Kalen didn't look happy but he had to accept it. _Stupid people._

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After they had fed him Kalen was walked towards what he assumed was his room by two guards and the doctor. He honestly was shocked by the pace that things were changing at. It had only been yesterday that he had been having breakfast with Tamar and debating the quality of the crops. This new place seemed unreal to him and he couldn't seem to focus on it at all. All he was getting was a vague sort of premonition, like he knew where things were and what things did but he tried to force this to stop as it was disturbing him too much.

"Here we are."

After a swipe at a control panel a room came into focus. It seemed There were papers and pictures on the wall that seemed to be of him. A desk in the corner of the room held a laptop and a number of strangely looking gadgets. Nothing seemed to click in his mind and he could only slump down on the bed and sit there.

"You can use your laptop, which is over there and if you have any questions or concerns just ask one of the guy's outside your room and they'll contact either me or Colonel Sheppard. Okay?"

Kalen just nodded and blanked out while Carson left. Going over to the laptop he just poked at it. Carson had explained that he had something called global amnesia in which he had lost his memory through a sort of post traumatic stress injury. He got this but didn't get why they were keeping him guarded, they didn't seem to trust him and this was a way of controlling him.

Feeling a deep source of apathy he slumped down further onto the bed. Kalen could only guess what was going to happen over the next few weeks and that scared him. He was alone without anyone to help him. Closing his eyes he fell into a unrestful sleep, where disjointed pictures swam close to the surface but before they could show themselves, disappeared.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


End file.
